As mothers, we can initiate new resolutions and commitments to become more effective parents.
Before starting, analyze your previous year’s portfolio. Objectively and honestly, think through the events. First, examine the positive trends. Ask yourself, “What were my victories this past year? What am I proud of? What went right? How was I a better mother this year than in the past?” These positive thoughts will charge you with the confidence to tackle new projects for the oncoming year.
Then think constructively, “What are my common parenting trouble spots? If I would change one behavior in order to make a serious difference in this house, which behavior would that be? If I were to watch my family’s actions from the window, what would be something I could do to increase proper parenting? Creating a happier home by focusing more on pointing out the things that are going right, instead of vice versa…Spending more time talking to my children… Building stability through keeping my word for both rewards and consequences, thereby teaching my children that Mom means what she says… Speaking calmly, thereby demonstrating proper speech… Practicing consistency… Working on flexibility… Devoting more time to the most important people in my life…”
When choosing an area to work on, pick something consistent with your personality. For example, if you are an exuberant person, instead of promising never to raise your voice, decide to reserve your animated tone for compliments, and aim to keep your voice within the range of normal when reprimanding. Channel your strengths to help you overcome your weaknesses.
All too often, we fail to think we can change, because we do not believe that change is within reach. However, we must know that not only is change a possibility, but it is a reality.
When we work on our own growth, we teach our children to become “growing people,” too. This is a wonderful lesson to impart to our children. As adults, change is challenging, and often painful, because we have already become entrenched in our negative habits. However, children are more pliable. They have less to undo, and even that which they must uproot is not firmly ingrained. Teaching children new concepts is compared to a new paper as opposed to an old paper, smudged with the telltale signs of previously-erased words. Therefore, by teaching children to change, we are giving them the skills in their youth – the time which is most ripe for change.
Just imagine… If we would change just a little bit every year, the cumulative growth at the end of our lives will be enormous! We must simply believe that we could do it, and now is the perfect time to begin!