How To Get My Kids To Listen?!!

The most precious gift you’ve ever received is… your child. Along with this priceless gift, you’ve also received your most all-encompassing task of raising your child.

Of course, establishing proper discipline is easier said than done. In fact, the most common question asked by parents is “HOW DO I GET MY KIDS TO LISTEN?!” However, there is no “one quick-fix solution,” because so many puzzle pieces must fall into place in order for a home’s harmony to resonate. Presuming that the initial foundations of peace, unconditional love, acceptance and communication are in place, we will now explore several discipline techniques which will help us restore respect and discipline in the household.

Before we start with practical pointers, we must have a proper perspective on commanding respect. We must realize that this is not about us; it’s about them. It’s not that we need the honor of having our children speak respectfully at the dinner table. Rather, our children need this training because we want to mold the child into the perfect person we want him to become. So giving in and forgoing this respect is not a service, but rather a disservice, to the child, for we are denying him the opportunity to grow and develop properly.

One component of respect is listening to one’s parents. Therefore, we are obligated to insist on compliance.

Practically speaking, this training is best started when children are young and impressionable. It is then that you can physically “help them” to listen by taking their hand and directing them to do the required action or go to where they have to be.

When giving commands, use a firm, self-assured voice. Even young children detect when you are hesitant or unconfident. Avoid threats, warnings, and ultimatums as they undermine your authority. You can use the “broken record technique” (repeat your command in a calm, firm manner over and over until the child complies) or “when-then technique,” (When you clean up your room, you can go outside to play” instead of “if” which gives wiggling room for non-compliance.) If your child needs to have some power, give him choices and time frames, (“Please make sure the table is cleared before dinner” instead of “DO IT NOW!!!”) Whichever method you may choose to use, do not accept “no” for an answer. This is imperative, because early training sets the stage for respect for all authority throughout life.

Once children are a little older, it is the parent’s choice to be smart and selective when giving commands, demanding only that which the child is capable of fulfilling. For example, asking for something while a child is in middle of playing, or in a tired, cranky mood is setting him up for failure. Think before commanding and do not teach your child disobedience!

Try to set up routines, so that you can preempt tricky situation. When a child knows what is expected of him and is aware of the consequences if the routine is not followed, he is quicker to comply and accepts the consequence.

When you are in a situation over which you have no influence, do not exert your power, because you are embarking on a losing battle. At best, you will win while compromising your values by yelling, threatening, punishing, etc.

Remember that you too can press the pause button. Model proper behavior by thinking before you act. Use impulse control and ask yourself, “Is this the proper request at the proper time? Am I realistic that I can influence this situation? What is the best way to ask my child and set him up for success?”

In summary, start when your children are young by confidently training them to listen. As your children grow older, continue to guide them with firmness and love. Think before commanding and set up routines to avoid confrontation. Most importantly, spend time planning smart solutions at calm times, so you will know how to handle the real-life scenarios.

About these ads

6 responses

  1. I couldn’t agree more with this post! Thanks for sharing…you always have some great tips and advice!

    1. My pleasure April! I’m glad you enjoyed.

  2. Great post, I always have a hard time with consistency. I am a soft hearted mom.

    1. It may be challenging but very rewarding to be consistent.

  3. You’re right. I’ve found that setting routines in place will usually get good results. Great tips!

What is your opinion?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

The Brain Gym Dublin

Making The Brain Body Connection

Parenting And Stuff

Not a "how to be a great parent" blog

Tell Another Mom

Support other Moms

about ss

scott sappenfield

recoveryhealth™ - A Perfect Balance Of Health & Beauty™

#HEALTH without #MEDICINE ~ #FITNESS without #GYM ~ #BEAUTY without #COSMETIC ~ #ENERGY without #TONIC

All of Me ...and my sons!

Family life, fun and reviews from a single mom and her 3 adventurous sons!

Daily Echo

Echoes of Life, Love and Laughter

Pictimilitude

Inspiration & Motivation. Photography & The Written Word.

Outnumbered Mumma

One lass living with four lads.

One Perfect Day

Fun and simple activities for kids to play, learn, create and explore.

Bucket List Publications

Indulge- Travel, Adventure, & New Experiences

A World of Simplicity

and Insight to Chaos

The top 10 of Anything and Everything!!!

The top 10 of just about anything everything, from cakes to cats and dogs to caravans. Always a laugh, always worth seeing.

Mother's Niche

My Journey Through Motherhood

Green Moms and Kids

For Moms and Kids Who Love Being GREEN!

Oilfield Mommy

The struggles of being a stay at home mom

oh my darlin & i.

hippie ladies & a bearded fellow.

Theresa Thomas

Everyday Catholic

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 8,370 other followers

%d bloggers like this: